Thursday, November 29, 2007

Amen

Of all the preposterous assumptions of humanity over humanity, nothing exceeds most of the criticisms made on the habits of the poor by the well-housed, well- warmed, and well-fed. Herman Melville

Monday, November 26, 2007

T. S. Eliot: The Hippopotomus

And when this epistle is read among you, cause that
it be read also in the church of the Laodiceans.

The broad-backed hippopotamus
Rests on his belly in the mud;
Although he seems so firm to us
He is merely flesh and blood.

Flesh and blood is weak and frail,
Susceptible to nervous shock;
While the True Church can never fail
For it is based upon a rock.

The hippo’s feeble steps may err
In compassing material ends,
While the True Church need never stir
To gather in its dividends.

The ‘potamus can never reach
The mango on the mango-tree;
But fruits of pomegranate and peach
Refresh the Church from over sea.

At mating time the hippo’s voice
Betrays inflexions hoarse and odd,
But every week we hear rejoice
The Church, at being one with God.

The hippopotamus’s day
Is passed in sleep; at night he hunts;
God works in a mysterious way—
The Church can sleep and feed at once.

I saw the ‘potamus take wing
Ascending from the damp savannas,
And quiring angels round him sing
The praise of God, in loud hosannas.

Blood of the Lamb shall wash him clean
And him shall heavenly arms enfold,
Among the saints he shall be seen
Performing on a harp of gold.

He shall be washed as white as snow,
By all the martyr’d virgins kist,
While the True Church remains below
Wrapt in the old miasmal mist.

Friday, November 09, 2007

Isaiah 11:6

...and the kitty and the crow will play together...

Satan's Beatitudes

1. Blessed are those who are too tired, too busy, too distracted to spend an hour a week with their fellow Christians -- they are my best workers.

2. Blessed are those Christians who wait to be asked and expect to be thanked -- I love to use them.

3. Blessed are those who are touchy and stop going to church -- they are my greatest ambassadors.

4. Blessed are the troublemakers -- they shall be called my children.

5. Blessed are the complainers -- they make music to my ears.

6. Blessed are those who are obsessed with the minister's mannerisms and mistakes -- for they will never hear the God's truth.

7. Blessed is the church member who expects to be invited to his own church -- for he is a part of the problem instead of the solution.

8. Blessed are those who gossip -- they shall cause the strife and division that pleases me greatly.

9. Blessed are those who are easily offended -- for they will soon get angry and quit.

10. Blessed are those who do not give their offering to carry on God's work -- they are my helpers.

11. Blessed is he who professed to love God but hates his brother and sister -- for he shall be with me forever.

--copied from the cover of the newsletter from Hartsville Interfaith Ministries

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

This, on the other hand, is HILARIOUS...

...because even though what he says is ironic, he obviously doesn't know what irony is and probably can't spell it either.

Laugh or Cry?


Heck, I don't know...afterall, up is down, wrong is right, war preserves peace, Christians endorse torture, co-equal branches of government have one branch that is more equal than others, dictatorship is a democracy and democracy is a dictatorship...I want to cry but evidently I'm supposed to laugh...I think.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

You May Not Like Olbermann but...

...please listen to the retired admiral he interviews.