Friday, November 09, 2007

Satan's Beatitudes

1. Blessed are those who are too tired, too busy, too distracted to spend an hour a week with their fellow Christians -- they are my best workers.

2. Blessed are those Christians who wait to be asked and expect to be thanked -- I love to use them.

3. Blessed are those who are touchy and stop going to church -- they are my greatest ambassadors.

4. Blessed are the troublemakers -- they shall be called my children.

5. Blessed are the complainers -- they make music to my ears.

6. Blessed are those who are obsessed with the minister's mannerisms and mistakes -- for they will never hear the God's truth.

7. Blessed is the church member who expects to be invited to his own church -- for he is a part of the problem instead of the solution.

8. Blessed are those who gossip -- they shall cause the strife and division that pleases me greatly.

9. Blessed are those who are easily offended -- for they will soon get angry and quit.

10. Blessed are those who do not give their offering to carry on God's work -- they are my helpers.

11. Blessed is he who professed to love God but hates his brother and sister -- for he shall be with me forever.

--copied from the cover of the newsletter from Hartsville Interfaith Ministries

1 comment:

Preacher Mom said...

You better believe that these will soon be making an appearance in Small Church's print material sometime soon. Don't believe anyone's toes escapes this list without getting stepped on somewhere!